Glichés
The 800-year history of modern music has spawned many successful ensembles, of which Glee is only one. But very few of these have derived their own completely unique vocabulary. (In this respect, one might say that Glee is truly glemarkable.)
allerglee (n): a bizarre condition that results in the spontaneous occurence of physical illness whenever something fun exciting and glee-related is about to happen.
chrisish (adj): Over-excitable and over-enthusiastic with little or no motive. (Hence, chrisishness (n): a mildly contagious but entertaining condition.) [Believed to derive from the behaviour of a previous incumbent of the post of Gleezer]
doremefasolate (vi): To take singing too seriously. (Hence, doremefasolator (n, perj): one who joins the University Choir in preference to Glee. A surprisingly high proportion of current members are in fact ex-doremefasolators who realised the error of their ways.)
gleebie (n coll): Valuable and enticing artifact offered to potential members at the annual recruitment stall at Freshers' Fair.
gleeboard (n): Portable imitation piano of inferior quality whose range does not extend low enough to play past the first four bars of the Moonlight Sonata. Transported to and from rehearsal venues on a customised trolley whose origins are lost in the mists of time, and which is designed to be immensely irritating to the poor mug who agrees to take responsibility for it.
gleeché (n): Twee, infuriating but annoyingly catchy colloquial name for any item, vaguely related to the choir, formed by prefixing an ordinary and unsuspecting word with 'Glee-'. Outlawed by a past Gleezer in an attempt to prevent the choir from becoming gliquey, the art of the gleeché appears to have been driven underground and continues in earnest.
gleecussion (n): Drum-like item used to accompany singers in certain pieces. Bought at great expense in the 1999-2000 season and unlikely ever to be used again.
glee-D player (n): Hastily-repaired device for playing recorded music to the choir in a vain attempt to get them to understand what it should actually sound like. Also used for publicity purposes and to delight and entertain nearby stallholders at the annual Freshers' Fair.
gleelationship (n): Romantic involvement between singers. It is widely agreed that it is neither enjoyment of singing nor musical prowess that holds the choir together, but rather the network of gleelationships in which more than a quarter of our singers participate, and to which the remaining proportion aspire. Gleelationships have an uncanny habit of outlasting choir membership by many years, and post-Glee marriages are disturbingly frequent.
glee-mail (n): The means of electronic communication by which the chairman pontificates and the Gleezer and AMD roar at innocent members, often banning them from eating anything they might actually enjoy on the day of a concert.
gleeping-bag (n): Insulated portable sack, used by choir members to sleep on church floors when prestigious five-star accommodation is not available.
gleehicle (n): Any vehicle commandeered by the choir for regular national and international tours, and the occasional trip to a small village church near Halifax.
gleequipment (cl n): Collective term for the assorted paraphernalia that must be brought to any Glee event, including: Gleeboard, Glecussion, Glee-shirts, Glee-D player and Gleesel. Another item of Gleequipment is the MD's music stand, which, in accordance with the ancient Glee rites, must remain at the concert venue for at least 27 hours after the choir and audience have departed.
gleesel (n): Wooden A-frame bearing the choir logo, displayed when busking in the city, and sometimes outside concert venues to dissuade innocent passers-by from taking an interest.
glee-shirt (n): One of a collection of hideously dyed, ineffectively ironed garments worn during concerts and both before and afterwards, usually for as short a period as possible. When Marks & Spencer discovered how their plain white T-shirts were being abused, they wisely discontinued the line.
Gleezer (n): Informal title given to the incumbent Musical Director.
gliquey (adj): Of a group: Introspective, unwelcoming, inward-looking and generally inaccessible. (Hence, the Glique (pr n) (colloquial) (obsolescent): the hard core of Glee members which remained active throughout the 1999-2000 season and were the first to sign up for 2000-2001.) The fight against gliqueyness (n) has been conducted with considerable vigour and limited success by several generations of committee members.
gumboot (vi): To behave in an alarmingly spontaneous and enthusiastic manner. Physically stimulating methods may be alcohol-induced or result from being chrisish.
Halifax (pr n): A place of immense natural beauty hidden by an ugly exterior and reputation; a heaven or paradise where singing and tuning, no matter how bad, are appreciated and enjoyed, and where gifts of food are plentiful.
monologue (vi): to drone in an uninteresting manner on a topic which is humorously uninteresting to those present. (Hence, (n): the stretch of discourse produced during such behaviour; monologous (adj): of or pertaining to monologue; monologously (adv): in a monologous manner.
phyllis (vi): To act in a flirtatious manner, often when speaking with a myntas. Hence, (n) one who phyllises; a lady of negotiable affection.
shoshaloza (interj): shouted as a form of stress relief when something of irritation has occurred, or through gritted teeth when something has gone violently wrong. Often used in places of worship to avoid swearing (although not all members actually observe the common practice of refraining from swearing in churches).
Season's Gleetings (interj): Joyous expression of Christmas tidings, often accompanied by the ancient tradition of wearing tinsel with a Glee-shirt.
Submissions by Jo Hodges, Claire Morris, Toby Wardman, Daniel Callinan, Philip Stewart, and Kat Petersen.